For most of her life, my mom and I lived on my dad's family farm southeast of the small Missouri town, Odessa, which is about 35 miles east of Kansas City, MO.
My mom calls my daughter "Lisa", and then corrects herself... everytime, but all the time.
My mom has looked at me in the early morning before being fully awake and called to me, "Mother?"
My mother, at times, looks just like her mother who died of Alzheimer's at 91. Mom is 89.
Mom and dad took care of her mother in their home for a year before moving her into a home.
My mother has moderate (stage 4-5) Alzheimer's, but can remember taking care of her mom who had Alzheimer's from 1985-91.
Mom has hallucinations like her mom did, but unlike my grandmother, mom know's they are hallucinations. I attribute this to her meds and her own experiences of caring for her mother. Caring for a person with dementia seems to have never left her, even though she now has Alzheimer‘s. herself.
Our Saturday morning:
8:00 a.m. (Melissa has already left for a Color guard performance.)
Mom "reads" me the KC Star every morning, or her version of it. Our discussion of it goes something like this:
mom, "Is this today's paper?" (It's laying at her place every morning where I have placed it before I've gone to get her up.)
me, "Yes, mom."
She turns first to the weather page. (every day)
mom, "Ooh! it's going to be bitterly cold today!"
me, "yeah, it's about 4 degrees this morning."
mom, "It will turn partly sunny with a bitterly cold start."
me, "yep"
mom, "There is a 70% chance of snow Monday morning, with a light PM mix."
(Have you figured out yet that she is reading the weather page verbatim?)
mom, "Tuesday it will be partly cloudy and a little milder."
me, "That's good."
mom, "Wednesday we have a 40% chance of rain."
me, "That's good, we need the rain for the crops this Spring." (my dad was a farmer)
At this point, I finish my coffee and move to the stove to fix a breakfast of bacon and eggs (her favorite and what she requests every morning, if I were to let her have it, and at 89 who cares? She's deserved it!)
mom, "It's going to be bitterly cold today!"
me, "yep, mom that's what I've heard."
mom, "It will turn partly sunny with a bitterly cold start."
me, "Sun is good."
mom, "There is a 70% chance of snow Monday morning, with a light PM mix."
me, "good, maybe Melissa will get that snow day she has been wanting."
mom, "Tuesday it will be partly cloudy and a little milder."
me, "That's good."
mom, "Wednesday we have a 40% chance of rain."
me, "Our flower garden needs the rain to bring the bulbs up this Spring."
Mom finishes her breakfast and I remind her (once again) to get her walker as she goes back to her room for a nap.
Later that morning
(11 a.m.) :
me, "Melissa is on her way to a Color Guard performance." (They are always on Saturdays.)
Mom, "When does Lisa get back from her 'thing'? I mean Melissa."
me, "it won't be till this evening mom."
mom, "Where is she going?"
me, "Park Hill" (a well known KC suburb)
mom, "what park?"
me, "Kansas City"
Mom turns to her paper:
mom, "It's going to be bitterly cold today!"
me, "yes mom."
mom, "It will turn partly sunny with a bitterly cold start."
me, "yep"
mom, "There is a 70% chance of snow Monday morning, with a light PM mix."
me, "Finally, we haven't had snow all winter."
mom, "Tuesday it will be partly cloudy and a little milder."
me, "That's good."
mom, "Wednesday we have a 40% chance of rain."
me, "Hope it doesn't flood."
As I put her grilled cheese sandwich in front of her with her tomato soup (as I often do for lunch) she says, "Ooh! I love tomato soup! Did you fix me a grilled cheese?"
me, "Yes, mom."
As I place the soup in front of her I realize I forgot to put a spoon on the plate and know instinctively that she will ask for the spoon.
So I tell her as I place the soup in front of her that I will get her a spoon.
mom, "May I have a spoon please?" (btw, she DOES have her hearing aides in)
me, "yes, mom."
mom, "Thank you."
me, "Your welcome."
As mom sips her hot soup she pulls her "weather page" over to her.
mom, "It's going to be bitterly cold today!"
me, "yes mom."
mom, "It will turn partly sunny with a bitterly cold start."
me, "yep, it was cold this morning, but it has warmed up some."
mom, "There is a 70% chance of snow Monday morning, with a light PM mix."
me, "I wonder if they will have school Monday?"
mom, "Tuesday it will be partly cloudy and a little milder."
me, "That's good."
mom, "Wednesday we have a 40% chance of rain."
me, "We need some precipitation."
Around 1 p.m. mom lays back down for a nap. I start doing laundry and put on some chili in the crock pot for dinner.
Around 3 p.m. mom comes tootling in from her room and sits at the kitchen table where her paper still sits by her seat.
mom, "Do you have something sweet?"
me, "would you like cookies or some banana bread?"
mom, "Cookies!"
me, "Chocolate chip or raisin?"
mom, "h'm... are the raisin cookies like your grandma's?"
me, "yes"
mom, "Raisin."
I place the cookies in front of her with a cup of coffee.
mom, "Thank you."
me, "Your welcome.”
She pulls her paper up to her as she munches on her Oatmeal Raisin cookies.
mom, "It's going to be bitterly cold today!"
me, "yes mom."
mom, "It will turn partly sunny with a bitterly cold start."
me, "yep."
mom, "There is a 70% chance of snow Monday morning, with a light PM mix."
me, "un-huh."
mom, "Tuesday it will be partly cloudy and a little milder."
me, "Good."
mom, "Wednesday we have a 40% chance of rain."
me, "uh-huh."
Mom, "When does Lisa get back from her 'thing'? I mean Melissa."
me, "about 5:30 p.m. or 6."
mom, "Where is she going?"
me, "Kansas City"
mom, "What time is Lisa getting back again? I mean Melissa."
me, "Six."
mom, "Where are my Kleenex's?"
me, "Are you out?"
mom, "yes, my nose is running."
me, "Yes, it does that."
I go to the closet and fetch a new box of Kleenex's. The second this week.
mom, "Thank you."
me, "Your welcome."
Mom finishes her cookies and starts to walk around her walker to go back to lay down for a late afternoon nap.
me, "Don't forget your walker."
mom, "ok."
Mom continues to walk AROUND her walker.
me, "MOM!"
She looks up at me bewildered and says, "Yes?"
me, "Your walker." (I point toward it.)
mom, "Oh, yeah."
She takes her walker and goes on back to her room.
It's 5:30 p.m. and Melissa has text-ed me that she is back in Odessa. I go and wake up mom and say, "Are you ready to go get Melissa?"
mom, "Lisa?"
me, "no, Melissa, mom. She's back from Guard, we need to pick her up."
mom, "ok."
We pick Melissa up from Guard and come home to eat our chili.
mom, "Is there music playing?"
me, "no."
mom, "I hear music."
me, "what kind?"
mom, "like monks chanting"
me, "interesting"
mom, "you don't hear it do you?"
me, "no."
mom, "ok."
We finish our evening meal and watch a little tv, avoiding my favorite shows, CSI: New York, Criminal Minds, and Cold Case. Mom used to love mysteries, but now the blood scares her. It's 8:00 p.m. and mom gets up from her chair and heads to the bedroom.
mom, "I'm tired, I think I'll retire."
me, "Need some help?"
mom, "no, I'm ok."
This time she remembers her walker and returns to her room.
I wait a few minutes and then go and check on her.
mom,"Did you see that man out in the hall?"
me, "no."
mom, "That tall man with the suit?"
me, "no, mom, I didn't see him."
mom, "h'm..."
She walks over to the dresser drawer and pulls it out to get her p.j.'s.
mom, "Lisa, come over here and look at this!"
I walk over and look in the drawer.
"yes?"
mom, "do you see it?"
me, "What is it?"
mom, "a spider." (there is no spider there)
me, "do you want me to kill it?"
mom, "isn't it huge?"
I take a kleenex from the bedside table and attempt to squash the offending bug.
mom, "That won't kill it."
me, "why?"
mom, "it's too big."
I take a shoe from off the floor and bang in the direction she said the spider was.
Mom looks at me accusingly.
me, "what?"
mom, "it isn't really there is it?"
me, "no, mom, it wasn't really there."
mom, "ok."
I tuck mom in bed and tell her goodnight.
mom, "good ni-te"
me, "good ni-te, luv you"
mom, "I love you, too."
I turn on the night light and shut the door for some "me" time. Melissa and I sit down to watch Criminal Minds.
After about 45 minutes, and right at the climax of the show, here comes mom.
Melissa, "Grandmmmmmaaaaa."
mom smiles sweetly at her.
Melissa, "Grumf"
mom, "grumf!"
Melissa rolls her eyes.
me, "Melissa, turn the channel this scene is too bloody for your grandma to watch."
Melissa, "Mooommmm!!!"
mom, "it's ok."
me, "NO, it's not ok! Melissa turn it onto some family channel."
Melissa reluctantly turns to Nick at Night.
We watch a little of Andy Griffith and mom goes back to bed.
At 9 p.m. we turn to a rerun of Cold Case.
At 9:30 p.m. mom comes down the hall (we don't see her too engrossed in the show) we're both on the couch and mom cranes her neck around and sticks it in Melissa's face.
Melissa, "Eeeeekkk!"
mom, "giggle, giggle"
Melissa, "That's not funny!!"
mom, "giggle, giggle"
It's 10 p.m. the news is on. BOTH mom and Melissa are like, "when are they going to show the weather?"
me, "Oh, brother!"
THE END
Laughter is the best medicine.
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